Pessimism about the Zombie Apocalypse

By: Paige Humber
English 336.002

Imagine a world filled with lethal disease and the putrefying smell of rotting flesh floating around and piercing your senses. With all the different types of zombies, like walkers and runners, it is pretty hard to imagine possibly surviving, none the less living, in a world which is bound to end in doom.

After interviewing college students at Frostburg State University on November 1, 2011, it’s pretty safe to say that the ending result for many of them would end in their demise. Heather Buchannan, a liberal study major from Preston, MD, had this to say about her chances when asked on a scale 1 to 10 what her chances of survival would be, “I think about a 6. I’m smart, but I’m fat so I can’t run fast.” After a loud group laughter from her friends, Heather said, with a great sense of humor, “What? It’s true!”

Once the laughter died down, Mikayla Young, a music education major from Glen Burnie, MD, said “I’m probably like a 4. I’ve played ‘Resident Evil’ and it was videotaped and put on YouTube, but I didn’t do very well… It got like 700 views!” Though she seemed very proud with the success of her amount of views on her admittedly failed attempt at this horrific video game, Mikayla’s hope of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse is blatantly bleak.

Jackie Jefferies, a Frostburg native studying Biochemistry, had the worst outlook of them all for a trait that could put her 6 feet under. “I’m going to say like a 4. I’m just clumsy.”

Along with the girl's cynicism, a male perspective came into view, thought he believed to have an even smaller chance of survival. Henry Nnoruom, an Information Technology student from Baltimore, claims that he, on a scale 1 to 10, is “about a 3. Can I say none?” After joking about how he would be the first to die, Henry thought about this logically. “Apocalypse? Like zombies everywhere? It’s contagious so when one guy goes down, another does and it’ll just keep going.”

Overall, this whole Zombie Apocalypse looks like it will end very badly for most considering the flaws and fear we have instilled in us. Hopefully, there will be a way, or possibly a course offered, to help avoid the inevitable annihilation we will all face in the future.